Couples Therapy

Seeking psychotherapy does not mean there’s something wrong with you; rather it is an indication that you’re ahead of the game (you know there is something better and you’re seeking a mentor to help you get there). A partner relationship that is drifting in rocky waters can benefit greatly by psychotherapy; otherwise the negative communication patterns may continue to worsen (or even stay the same—which isn’t much better).

Both partners bring their own family of origin history into the relationship, for we have all been influenced by the communication patterns exemplified by our parents. This was our first model for male-female relationship. Even though we may have worked to create a new and different way of expressing ourselves, most likely elements of our parents are still acting out from unconscious (and even conscious) realms within us. We have also been influenced by our cultural and religious upbringing.

The first step to healing our relational problems with our partners is one of healing our relationship with ourselves. Learning to forgive ourselves, we learn how to forgive others. Learning how to love ourselves, we learn how to love others more deeply. Learning how to listen to ourselves more deeply, we also learn to listen to others. It’s all about letting go of defenses that block us from giving and receiving compassionate communication.

My training is extensive in this area. I train future marriage and family psychotherapists in master’s courses at both Chapman University and National University. As an instructor I have to be familiar with all the primary models of psychotherapy: Psychodynamic, Cognitive-Behavioral, Humanistic, Existential and Family Systems. I combine these models along with Jungian and archetypal theories of development. The therapy is tailored to the couple’s needs and personal style.

Sometimes relationships are not going to work. If this is the case, then therapy can help both the husband and the wife to come to respectful terms and to create a ritual of divorce that empowers all.

I have seen couples who were in serious relational trouble, totally turn their relationship in a positive direction. Some were even in extramarital affairs or separated. Over a decade has passed and these relationships are still intact, productive, creative and loving—husband, wife and their children are happier. This was possible because of creative and caring psychotherapy.

If you have been in your partnership for some time, feel its getting stagnant and would like to work toward a “Recommitment Ceremony” and revitalize your relationship for the second half of your lives, please email me at sharon.mijares12@gmail OR call me at (760) 230-0948 to set up a plan to work via Skype, email and phone.